Forgive, but Never Forget

Someone from my past will be released from prison soon.  This has caused me to reflect on what it means to forgive.  Holding on to feelings of hate, hurt, and resentment can hold us back.  I think forgiveness is the first step to overcoming all the ways that being hurt has held us back.  We don't have to be afraid.  We don't have to be "damaged" (meaning that we feel we can never get away from the negative effects of our experiences).  We can't change what happened, but we can begin to control how that experience influences us now.  Do we avoid opportunities for growth?  Do we inhibit ourselves from finding joy in daily life?
As I've learned to forgive and been with others as they have done the same thing, there is a very real weight that is lifted.  We are freeing ourselves from the power that person or experience had over us.
However, forgiveness doesn't have to mean giving them a free pass or forgetting that experience happened.  It doesn't even mean that we treat that person the same way before they hurt us.  It is okay to be cautious in our forgiveness.  Forgiveness is not the same as trust.  We can keep any interactions on our terms.  Set boundaries and limits.  We don't have to let ourselves be hurt again.  We remember and we learn from our experience and we move on. 
Quoting an article about compassion by David Horowitz:

 "My objection is that you're confusing compassion with gullibility. I do visit prisoners and I think it matters to make that human connection. That doesn't mean I'd necessarily trust them with my purse. I wouldn't let the State execute them in my name either. I don't think kinship with people who've crossed the line blurs my own morality. In fact, it gives it more clarity. If you see someone in the fullness of their humanity, you see how they are acting out their own confusion and suffering.

"This does not justify hurtful or evil acts. It doesn't even always inspire forgiveness. But if you see someone this way, you respond more in sadness than in anger. And that is simply a more excellent state of being."