The Opera House

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
― Mark Twain

A few days ago, I ate dinner with a group of friends.  The hostess is an incredible woman with a sky high list of life and academic achievements.  She is currently writing a book about her late husband, a Nobel laureate for his work on the MRI.  The guests consisted of a huge range of ages, lifestyles and interests.  The only thing we had in common was our friendship with one woman.  Through her we have all become friends.  That is the kind of person I want to be.  Someone that sees value in everyone and is able to unite strangers.
My parents are really good at this, therefore, I grew up in a home that exemplified this characteristic.  Every Sunday, we hosted "Sunday dinner".  The guests mostly consisted of people who were far away from their family and friends.  We adopted each other and created our own family.  One Sunday, we decided to take a poll of the different languages fluently spoken by those at our table.  We had a total of 21 people with an average of  one different language per person!  This really was a typical Sunday.  Sometimes our guests were musical and would share their talents with us.  My friend once joked "Your house is like an opera; people running around in costumes, singing in different languages".

My house is still never boring, but I miss the constant sharing of cultures, traditions, and opinions so different from mine.  My new goal is to facilitate such an environment. 

The Consolation Prize

So after posting a (small) bucket list, I've been thinking about all the things I want to do and all the goals I have yet to complete.  This can be a little overwhelming and a bit depressing.  Therefore, as a follow up, I decided to make a list of some of the things I have done.  This is not a list of my accomplishments, but a tribute to memorable life moments.

Things I've done:

•  Tried haggis in a pub in Scotland
• Ziplined through the rainforest
• Participated in a civil war reenactment (hoop skirt and all)
• Climbed a mountain
•  Ridden in a hot air balloon
• Befriended a stranger
• Drifted with a professional race car driver
• Played a slot machine in Vegas
• Been held up at gunpoint
•  Been bitten by an Emu
• Stargazed on the sand dunes
• Read a book on the roof of a hotel in Honduras, overlooking the ocean
• Been an extra in a movie
• Stayed awake for over 48hours straight  
• Witnessed a historical event

The Bucket List

Bucket List:

• Parasail
• learn to snowboard
• Go skydiving 
• Play the Tabernacle Organ
• Perform on a street corner and buy a soda with the change I made
• Picnic on a sailboat
• Attend an Indian wedding
• Get a motorcycle license
• Be in a flash mob
• Create a master piece
• Learn a language fluently
• "master" another instrument
• sleep in a hostel

These are just are few of the things on my bucket list.  Basically, I want to go everywhere and try everything.  I will update this when I think of more specifics.  (There are a few things on my list that I have chosen not to share with the world ;)  ).

Forgive, but Never Forget

Someone from my past will be released from prison soon.  This has caused me to reflect on what it means to forgive.  Holding on to feelings of hate, hurt, and resentment can hold us back.  I think forgiveness is the first step to overcoming all the ways that being hurt has held us back.  We don't have to be afraid.  We don't have to be "damaged" (meaning that we feel we can never get away from the negative effects of our experiences).  We can't change what happened, but we can begin to control how that experience influences us now.  Do we avoid opportunities for growth?  Do we inhibit ourselves from finding joy in daily life?
As I've learned to forgive and been with others as they have done the same thing, there is a very real weight that is lifted.  We are freeing ourselves from the power that person or experience had over us.
However, forgiveness doesn't have to mean giving them a free pass or forgetting that experience happened.  It doesn't even mean that we treat that person the same way before they hurt us.  It is okay to be cautious in our forgiveness.  Forgiveness is not the same as trust.  We can keep any interactions on our terms.  Set boundaries and limits.  We don't have to let ourselves be hurt again.  We remember and we learn from our experience and we move on. 
Quoting an article about compassion by David Horowitz:

 "My objection is that you're confusing compassion with gullibility. I do visit prisoners and I think it matters to make that human connection. That doesn't mean I'd necessarily trust them with my purse. I wouldn't let the State execute them in my name either. I don't think kinship with people who've crossed the line blurs my own morality. In fact, it gives it more clarity. If you see someone in the fullness of their humanity, you see how they are acting out their own confusion and suffering.

"This does not justify hurtful or evil acts. It doesn't even always inspire forgiveness. But if you see someone this way, you respond more in sadness than in anger. And that is simply a more excellent state of being."

The Alphabet Game

This winter, we decided to visit family in Utah.  We drove from Illinois to Utah, stopping along the way.  This turned into a total of six days of driving (three days each way).  In honor of all the car games we played, I thought I would highlight our trip/ vacation through the alphabet game.

Animal rescue- Pulling over for gas in Nebraska, we see a police car and an injured horse being led across the street.

Backseat Basket-ball

Cracking up in church- Leaning over to my father I say “I am so sick of Christmas songs…”  He responds, I think the conductor is too.”  I look up to see a look of resentment on the conductor’s face.  She looked so angry, it was hilarious.  My dad and I start to shake from silent laughter.  Trying to gain composure, we both put on straight faces and look straight ahead.  Unfortunately, the conductor is straight ahead (still looking as angry/ bored as ever).  There is no saving us now…

Double Trouble -reunited with my “twin”  (He used to feed me dog food and we would play in the kennel.)

Elk

Fish and Chips

Get out of Town! ( An inside joke that I put on the shirt of the pajamas I made for my grandpa)

Howdy doody impressions

Injured by a basketball

Joanna’s random friends- along our drive, we stopped in St. Louis for a Wedding reception and then in Kansas City for church.  In both places, Joanna just happened to know multiple people through school in Virginia and Summer camps throughout the Midwest.

Knots- I taught myself how to crochet while we were driving.  Anyone want a hat or scarf?

Lies!  I am a little bit gullible and my family takes advantage.

Mice traps- You don’t want to know.

Neck pillow- We lend our vehicle out to our church (for missionary transfers).  Occassionally, things are left in our car.  One such object was a neck pillow (kinda sketchy, I know, but it’s super comfortable…).  Forgetting about the neck pillow, I walked into a rest area with it still around my neck…

Opportunities to go to the temple

Pushing beds together

Questionable… (basically, fill in the blank: parties, jokes, games…)

Reckless driving-  My father got a warning for swerving back and forth.

Sing-talking

Tantrum= left in the snow

Unicorn hair- Imagine my brother with just the front of his hair gelled into a perfect point.

VC reunion

Wop and Wobble

X-rays for Grandpa- Christmas Day, my grandpa falls and is rushed to the Emergency Room.  He is ok now.

YOLO

Ziggy!

Some are Born Great?

I've been thinking a little bit about what it means to be "great".
I was talking to my cousin tonight.  She is 19 years old and is the pride of the family.  She graduated high school with the highest scholarship through the music program and is a college freshman prodigy (in both piano performance and dance).  Needless to say, she has pulled off many a perfect performance.  However, it is not her "perfection" that impresses me.  She recently performed for a large amount of musicians and performers.  She picked a song that she was comfortable with, played it through perfectly (multiple times) that day and was as prepared as anyone could be.  However, in the middle of her performance, she blanked.  She fumbled for a bit, before completely stopping and picking another spot to start at.  This happened again.  To end her torture, she just randomly played the last chord and got up and bowed.  Many a musician has been destroyed (by themselves) by a performance such as this.  Instead, her attitude was one of "at least I look good".  She is able to laugh at herself and move on.

I think this attitude and trait is especially admirable.  Yay, cousin!

Just for fun, I was reminded of some of my own performance mishaps:

• When I was 11 years old, my family was in an outdoor musical.  During one of the scenes, I carried my baby sister across the stage.  Somehow, the Velcro on my skirt came undone and I was left to try to hold up my skirt with one hand while carrying a baby with the other.
• As I accompanied a soloist, the book of sheet music fell hitting multiple notes on the piano (my friends later told me they thought I had passed out and that was the sound of my head hitting the keys...).  Not only was the song rudely interrupted, but I was left to improvise the rest of the song.  Poor soloist...
• Another Accompaniment mishap (this time with a choir) also involved sheet music falling to the floor.  I was left to play with one hand while I picked up the music and found my spot with the other.  This time, the choir never even noticed!  The reason I mention this experience ties in with my thoughts about my cousin.  I felt like I accomplished much more by continuing on in the face of the unexpected than if I had just played the entire song perfectly.

 Take home message:  Talent and skill don't matter unless you can move forward in spite of challenges.  This takes courage and perseverance, but you can do it!

Warning: This is my Angry Face

It is kinda late and I just got home and am still miffed about something that happened tonight.
This is my rant (slightly in the form of a letter I want to write):

To Whom it may concern,

I attended your comedy night on Wednesday, December 19^th and would like to bring a few things to your attention.

I came with a group of 6 girls and sat in the front.  We expected some heckling, and can take a joke.  However, there are a few things that happened that crossed the line. 

The first, a comedian came on stage and spent his entire time berating my friend for texting.  Who was she texting?  A woman whom that same comedian had drugged and raped.  Why was my friend texting? to avoid looking in his face. 

He recognized her and I am guessing he suspected who she was texting.  He tried to grab her phone, physically touching her and screamed in her face.  He called her names that no woman should ever be called, said things to her that would get any normal person fired,  and spent the rest of his set screaming in her face.  His anger was real.  Hosting a venue in which it is ok for a registered sex offender to publicly harass someone is not ok.

The next comedian continued the “joke” by calling this same friend to the front and telling her to stay behind him “this is what you get for texting”.  He “joked” about gang raping her with seven of his friends.  He continued with the direct name calling and invitations until she walked off the stage.  Following the performance, he tried to give her a hug, said something like “I’m sorry, it was all in fun.”  He then said something along the lines of “but I was serious about the rape, and here are some of my friends…”  He used to word “rape” while physically touching her and after his set.  How is this not sexual harassment?  

One of the interesting things about this event is that I really don't think this would have been tolerated in another city.  Why is it ok here?

The last comedian tried to lighten everything up and did seek us (I had been called out as well, by another comedian for being Mormon, this was light-hearted, however.) out and apologize.  He was appalled.   At least we weren't the only ones...